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alan 05-28-2011 12:20 PM

Critter Disaster
 
Critter Disaster


Yesterday evening I arrive home from work looking forward to this long weekend. On my way home, I stopped by the grocery store and the liquor store to stock up on supplies. As I enter the house with my first load of supplies, the cat exits the house. I drop off my laptop computer and 12-pack of beer and return to the car for my second load. As I re-enter the house a small flash of grey streaks past me into the house and I think what the hell? A larger grey critter (the cat) is a mere micro-second behind the first streak of grey.
They zip off into the kitchen with me in hot pursuit (although, Iím not nearly as fast).

Holy crap, it isnít a mouse. The critter is streaking across the counter tops and the cat is knocking stuff off the counter in its attempt to catch the critter. My favorite coffee cup has crashed to the floor and shattered into hundreds of pieces. A few empty beer bottles from the night before are upended and two of them hit the floor and shatter. I drop my groceries and just think ďOh Sh!tĒ.
Itís a squirrel.
It is virtually impossible for a cat to catch a squirrel. I donít care how much you may think a cat is quick and full of finesse; a squirrel beats them every time.

As the two critters play tag I run off and close the doors to remaining rooms in an attempt to keep the carnage as restricted in space as possible. I head back to the kitchen because I need the leather gloves in my junk drawer just in case I somehow manage to grab the squirrel. While donning the gloves, the critters race out of the kitchen, past the dining room and into the living room. Damn, theyíre fast. The papers I had stacked on top of the printer are scattered. The squirrel is at the top of the curtains and the cat is climbing them. As the cat reaches the top of the curtains, the squirrel leaps from the curtains to a picture hanging on the wall to the next set of curtains. The picture takes an awkward angle but fortunately doesnít fall. The cat looks pissed off.

I decide that I need to get the cat out of here. Sheís tearing up more stuff than the squirrel. I grab the cat and banish her into one of the bedrooms. I return to the living room and the squirrel is sitting on the curtain rod above the window, looking very paranoid and terrified. I approach the squirrel calmly thinking that I may be able to coax it into accepting my intent to carry outside. I was wrong. The squirrel leaps for the other curtain (bypassing the picture in between this time) and misses. It bolts across the floor and scrambles up the curtain on the opposite side of the room. This is not working out very well for me.

My living room has three 6.5 X 4 foot windows and a sliding glass door. I removed the screens from the windows the squirrel wasnít occupying (the screens are on the inside) and opened them. I opened the sliding glass door. Then I attacked the squirrel. He tried to stay at his chosen window but I kept trying to grab him (unsuccessfully) until he finally figured out that he could escape through another window.

cnredd 05-28-2011 01:08 PM

Re: Critter Disaster
 
After physical cleanup, you might want to Lysol the place down...Squirrels can carry stuff...:yes

Trinnity 05-28-2011 01:39 PM

Re: Critter Disaster
 
Yep, they carry ticks and fleas.

That's funny alan....you need a drink. Have one.

Me and my hubby were goint to the store this morning when a squirrel ran across the road real fast. He was so wound up, his tail was extended over his head !!! Imagine that !!!
We just laughed, we got so tickled. Critters are so funny sometimes. :rofl2

alan 05-28-2011 03:55 PM

Re: Critter Disaster
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Trinnity (Post 308252)
Yep, they carry ticks and fleas.

That's funny alan....you need a drink. Have one.

Me and my hubby were goint to the store this morning when a squirrel ran across the road real fast. He was so wound up, his tail was extended over his head !!! Imagine that !!!
We just laughed, we got so tickled. Critters are so funny sometimes. :rofl2

It wasn't funny while it was happening, the little bastard was wreaking havoc.
I can laugh now that it's over. I earned my drink.

faithful_servant 05-28-2011 04:31 PM

Re: Critter Disaster
 
Next time use a shotgun. It would have sped up the whole process substantially and from the sound of things may actually cause less damage than the critters did. Or you could just skin and mount the cat...:devil

cnredd 05-28-2011 04:50 PM

Re: Critter Disaster
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by faithful_servant (Post 308318)
Next time use a shotgun. It would have sped up the whole process substantially and from the sound of things may actually cause less damage than the critters did. Or you could just skin and mount the cat...:devil

Incredibly bad idea using the shotgun...

You might hit the 12-pack...:eek

alan 05-28-2011 05:05 PM

Re: Critter Disaster
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by faithful_servant (Post 308318)
Next time use a shotgun. It would have sped up the whole process substantially and from the sound of things may actually cause less damage than the critters did. Or you could just skin and mount the cat...:devil


Quote:

Originally Posted by cnredd (Post 308327)
Incredibly bad idea using the shotgun...

You might hit the 12-pack...:eek

Besides, a shotgun is overkill for a squirrel. Perhaps I need a pellet gun.
(hey Lizzie, do you have a pellet gun I can borrow?)

Coyote 05-28-2011 07:54 PM

Re: Critter Disaster
 
Wow....what a way to start out the weekend:thumbsup

Reminds me of when I had cats....one, we couldn't keep in - he'd get out any way he could for his meanderings. The other two - one was too fat to get over the barrier, the other declawed and not much of a jumper. Clyde must have felt sorry for his housemates. He brought in a rat. Live. And 3 cats and 3 dogs made for a very lively scenario. Finally after banishing the dogs to the yard, and looking for the rat we discovered it under the couch. It had fainted. I put it outside to revive.

The cats next present was a shrew.


Wicked cat :D

Trinnity 05-28-2011 09:20 PM

Re: Critter Disaster
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by faithful_servant (Post 308318)
Next time use a shotgun. It would have sped up the whole process substantially and from the sound of things may actually cause less damage than the critters did. Or you could just skin and mount the cat...:devil

Oh yeah, great idea shooting a shot gun in the house...even a 20g.............. :no

A .22 with bee shot, maybe, but a shotgun? :eek

faithful_servant 05-28-2011 10:07 PM

Re: Critter Disaster
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cnredd (Post 308327)
Incredibly bad idea using the shotgun...

You might hit the 12-pack...:eek

OMG - you're right. What was I thinking???


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