John McCain and Evolution

U.S. Presidential candidate John McCain says that recent changes in his campaign staff are "A natural evolution."
He should take a tip from his conservative base and consider intelligent design.

Forgot where the thread about this was. It is useless to try to find them. So many in one day.

what do you call a lesbian with long finger nails?






single :P

LooooL........
I'm not knocking marriage just posting jokes...


Marriage quotes 01
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring

Marriage quotes 02
Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!


Marriage quotes 03
There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.

A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. -- Bruce Friedman

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- Marvin Kitman

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. -- Helen Rowland

See all the problems in marrige is with men XD

OK then make marriage a womens only thing. But don't plan on us leaving.

But to be right one might say women decide to change the man. That is the root cause of all the problems.
Women go change the world. Leave us to take out the trash and do the yard work and become a couch potato on Thursday Night, and all day and night on Sunday!
Put your demons to work doing something good.

men are the rote of all evils, so we are tryinh to make some good

Awww we have the confession. Ladies are the cause of all marriage discord.

And by the divorce rate world wide you women would do better at changing the world.

Marriage quotes 04
A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge

Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie

And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise.

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates

Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago.

Here are a few VAMPIRE jokes that I found online. Just thought they would provide a bloody good time.

Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
A: Count Duckula

Q: What does a vampire fear most?
A: Tooth decay

Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account?
A: At a blood bank

Q: What does a baby bat say before going to bed?
A: Turn on the dark. I'm afraid of the light!

Q: What is Transylvania?
A: Dracula's terror-tory

Q: Where does Dracula water ski?
A: On Lake Erie

Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
A: By blood vessels.

Q: What's the part of a restaurant where vampires don't suck blood?
A: The non-Suckers section.

Q: What kind of ship does Dracula own
A: Blood vessel.

Q: Why doesn't anyone like Count Dracula?
A: He's a pain in the neck.

Q: What do you call Count Dracula's cookout?
A: Vampire camfire.

Q: What does Dracula say when introduced to someone?
A: "Hello, pleased to eat you!"

Q: How do vampires drive around?
A: In their bloodmobiles.

Q: What is Dracula's position in baseball?
A: Batboy

Q: Who is the Dracula's super hero girl friend?
A: Bat Ghoul.

Q: What is the largest building in Transylvania?
A: The Vampire State Building.

Q: Why did Dracula go to jail?
A: Because he robbed the blood bank.

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Barack Obama and his Associations - A Question of Judgement & Character

Blind Redneck walks into a bar. Says want to hear a good blond joke? The bar tender (a blond) says before you embarrass yourself sir, just let me point out I am a six foot blond body builder; there are two other customers in here--both blonds, and an all girl band called "The Three Blonds". This is also a biker bar and we're all packin' so if you still want to tell that joke go ahead!
The blind Redneck shakes his head and replies, 'No. Not if I got to repeat it six times. It ain't worth it!'

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