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Off-Topic, Bizarre, Jokes & Games Discuss A conversation at a party at the General Discussion; This might not be quite so humorous if it were just made up. But it is actually true. Once, at ...

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Old 05-20-2018, 08:05 PM
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Default A conversation at a party

This might not be quite so humorous if it were just made up. But it is actually true.

Once, at a party, Trish (which is her real name; but I will not divulge her last name) meant to direct guests to the condiments laid out.

She announced, "The condoms are on the table."

"What did you just say?" intoned Jack (her boyfriend; who is now her husband).

It was a mistake.

"The condoms are on the table," she repeated, innocently.

"What kind of a party is this, anyway?" asked one of the attendees.

Sometimes, malapropisms are really no big deal.

This time, however, such confusion of words really did matter...

(By the way, whenever someone does something foolish or silly now, we refer to it as "a Trish moment.")
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Old 05-20-2018, 09:00 PM
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Default Re: A conversation at a party

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Originally Posted by pjohns View Post
This might not be quite so humorous if it were just made up. But it is actually true.

Once, at a party, Trish (which is her real name; but I will not divulge her last name) meant to direct guests to the condiments laid out.

She announced, "The condoms are on the table."

"What did you just say?" intoned Jack (her boyfriend; who is now her husband).

It was a mistake.

"The condoms are on the table," she repeated, innocently.

"What kind of a party is this, anyway?" asked one of the attendees.

Sometimes, malapropisms are really no big deal.

This time, however, such confusion of words really did matter...

(By the way, whenever someone does something foolish or silly now, we refer to it as "a Trish moment.")
haha. I'll have to remember that

yeah I remember when we were all getting used those words condoms, condiments, and condominiums.
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Old 05-21-2018, 12:04 AM
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Default Re: A conversation at a party

In high school, we had a teacher (a priest, no less) who meant to say "volcanic eruption" and, instead, said "volcanic erection"...We couldn't get anything done the rest of the class...
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Old 05-21-2018, 12:08 AM
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Default Re: A conversation at a party

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In high school, we had a teacher (a priest, no less) who meant to say "volcanic eruption" and, instead, said "volcanic erection"...We couldn't get anything done the rest of the class...
oh no I'm sure you didn't
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Old 05-21-2018, 08:42 AM
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Default Re: A conversation at a party

My first meeting with store managers, and we were reviewing call in order procedures and forms.

On the call in form, it listed veggies that could be put on a sandwich, which I listed, and pronounced green peppers as green peckers. The managers went nuts.

My boss brings that one up every few years, just to poke at me.....
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Old 05-25-2018, 01:58 PM
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Default Re: A conversation at a party

Another thing that has earned Trish a reputation:

At a self-service filling station, she once picked up the diesel nozzle by mistake.

Of course, that, in itself, is not difficult to imagine that anyone might do.

But she kept trying to make the larger nozzle fit into her tank's receptacle.

Eventually, a voice came over the loudspeaker: "Lady, put the hose down!"

It was as if a lawbreaker were told, by the police, to put his weapon down...
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Old 05-27-2018, 01:17 PM
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Default Re: A conversation at a party

Ha my sister at the age of 14 did basically the same thing at a church picnic.

"Could someone pass the condoms for my wienie," were her exact words.

My mom said, "Jenny!" (Name changed to protect the guilty) "why would you say that?"

To which she replied, "What? I just want the condoms for my hot-dog."

My mother, "Jenny! Stop saying that."

"What?"

My mom pulled her a side.
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Old 05-27-2018, 01:58 PM
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Default Re: A conversation at a party

An admiral visited one of the ships of the line under his command.
While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the Naval
insignia stamped on every biscuit.

He went to the Chief cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be
used on other ships under his command.

The Chief replied, "I’d be glad to share that with you, Admiral. After each
biscuit is cut, I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the
Navy insignia.

Horrified the Admiral exclaims, "That's very unhygienic!"

The Chief shrugs and replies, "Well, If that’s the way you feel, sir, I suggest you avoid the donuts.
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Old 05-27-2018, 02:15 PM
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Default Re: A conversation at a party

in civilian life he went to work for Denny's
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Old 05-28-2018, 01:00 PM
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Default Re: A conversation at a party

I was probably 14 when some real estate investor decided to build condominiums near the beach side in our town. We were going to the beach for the day and mom said, "Lots of condom erection going on around here". My brother and I erupted in laughter because that is teenage gold hilarity. Dad drug us out of the car (out of earshot of mom) and threatened to beat the snot out of both of us for laughing at mom. He was laughing to though.
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