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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “the best use of our resources at this time,” the Republican National Committee has decided to pull money originally earmarked for Trump campaign ads and spend it on alcohol instead.

According to the R.N.C. chairman, Reince Priebus, the decision to reallocate the funds from television advertising to alcoholic beverages came after a careful review of the polling in crucial battleground states.

“With about seventy days to go until the election, we had to consider what was the optimal way for us to get through those seventy days,” he said. “We are confident that we have found that way.”

“The decision was unanimous,” he added.

<In the crucial state of Pennsylvania, twenty thousand litres of vodka, gin, tequila, and an assortment of fine whiskeys are already being distributed to Republican Party offices.>


<“It’s questionable whether the ads we were thinking of buying for Trump would work,” Harland Dorrinson, the Pennsylvania G.O.P. chairman, said. “We received the first shipment of alcohol this afternoon, and I can tell you that it’s already working.”>


<According to the most recent filing with the Federal Election Commission, after the outlays for wine and spirits, the R.N.C. will still have a million dollars in cash on hand, which will go to beer.>

Republicans to Pull Money from Trump Ads and Spend it on Alcohol - The New Yorker

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"Patriotism is the exact opposite of nationalism. Nationalism is a betrayal of patriotism. By putting our own interests first, with no regard for others, we erase the very thing that a nation holds dearest, and the thing that keeps it alive: its moral values."
French President Emmanuel Macron

Hmm I'm thinking about turning Republican now and visiting Pennsylvania

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Originally Posted by TiredRetired View Post
Damn shame it couldn't have been a father / son event. IMHO.

I know Boehner's on board

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Maybe the DNC should pull some money out of their party for the purchase of tampons.

They don't need to waste the money on Hillary she has the Clinton foundation for that.

Regards, Kirk

I'd say that Hillary is a wee bit past needing those. If not, then that may explain her 'health problems."

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Your life is the sum total of the choices you make.
If you don't laugh at yourself, a whole bunch of people will volunteer to do it for you
I never lose. I either win, or I learn....