Originally Posted by SHOSHANA
I think a lot of people are scared of being on their own.
My second marriage (it's ok - I have only been married and divorced twice (!) ) lasted for much longer than it should have simply because with two young kids, and him being difficult and mentally ill, I was scared to leave having nowhere to go, but thankfully my parents took the three of us in.
It is all very well for people who I have spoken to in the past saying that it would have been ok and things would have worked out had I left earlier, but with the difficulties and practicalities of leaving, it often seems too insurmountable and staying in the relationship seems the easier option. Also there is the hope, even the faint glimmer of hope, that things will revert back to how it was when times were good.
People are frightened of striking out on their own but although it is hard, it is often not as hard as being in a relationship that is going nowhere to say the least, and damaging to say the most, particularly if there are children involved.
I think this is where I begin to have my issues. LOL
Obviously I've never been married (because it's not legal in my state). And I've never been in a relationship substantially similar to marriage even though the idea has been flirted with on occasion.
Been single now for... Ummm... What, a year a half? Two years. I mean the writing was on the wall two and half years ago, but... whatever. I can't accidentally have kids. I mean I could
, but then I have to go through the fighting for custody and all that nasty jazz and frankly the odds of men getting custody over women are so severely small in this country that it would be a pointless risk. I'd be paying for kids I might get to see on the weekend.
Anyway... LOL I don't want to be a single parent. I also don't want to wait till I'm 40 to have kids. So I'm kinda in that stage where I'm thinking about what my life goals are, and what needs to be done to accomplish them, and so I'm fighting being single. And frankly, I'm not dating much because I'm only interested in dating guys that could potentially fit into my future plans. And that makes the whole thing even more complicated because getting grilled on a date about future plans is not always the best way to spark romance. LOL
I dunno... It's all a trainwreck.