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Off-Topic, Bizarre, Jokes & Games Discuss In Box Jokes.... :-) at the General Discussion; And they keep coming... Yet I love this one I got today. The 2 others are for adults only so ...

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 01-08-2012, 04:10 PM
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Default Re: In Box Jokes.... :-)

And they keep coming... Yet I love this one I got today. The 2 others are for adults only so we won't post them..

Quote:
In God I Trust!

After losing his parents, this 3 year old orangutan was so depressed he wouldn't eat and didn't respond to any medical treatments. The veterinarians thought he would surely die from sadness.
The zoo keepers found an old sick dog on the grounds in the park at the zoo where the orangutan lived and took the dog to the animal treatment center. The dog arrived at the same time the orangutan was there being treated.
The 2 lost souls met and have been inseparable ever since.



The orangutan found a new reason to live and each always tries his best to be a good companion to his new found friend.
They are together 24 hours a day in all their activities.
They live in Northern California where swimming is their favorite past time, although Roscoe (the orangutan) is a little afraid of the water and needs his friend's help to swim.




Together they have discovered the joy and laughter in life and the value of friendship.




They have found more than a friendly shoulder to lean on.










Long Live Friendship!!!!!!

I don't know......some say life is too short, others say it is too long, but I know that nothing that we do makes sense if we don't touch the hearts of others.......while it lasts!

May you always have love to share, health to spare, and friends who care.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2012, 04:17 PM
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Default Re: In Box Jokes.... :-)

Humm I guess the readers are enjoying these, I got this group today... Under the title ENJOY.... So I hope you enjoy them..







I like all of them but these are special...





You get the meaning...







On the next one I place in here are the BRA Contests...
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 01-14-2012, 12:42 PM
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Default Re: In Box Jokes.... :-)

Aww I forgot about the Bar Contest, maybe next time..

Quote:
After a long

night of making love, the guy
notices a

photo of another man, on the woman's
nightstand

by the bed. He begins to worry.



'Is this

your husband?' he nervously asks.

'No,

silly,' she replies, snuggling up to

him.

'Your

boyfriend, then?' he continues.

'No, not

at all,' she says, nibbling away at

his
ear.


'Is it your

dad or your brother?' he inquires,
hoping to be

reassured.

'No, no,

no! You are so hot when you're

jealous!'
she

answers.

'Well,

who in the hell is he, then?' he demands.


She whispers in his ear

'That's

me before the surgery.' ...
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 01-14-2012, 01:29 PM
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Default Re: In Box Jokes.... :-)

Just in.

Quote:
One day, a

man came home and was greeted by his wife

dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she

purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So

he tied her up

and

went golfing.
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Old 01-14-2012, 02:00 PM
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Default Re: In Box Jokes.... :-)

I need to log out of my e-mail account.

Quote:
A

woman came home, screeching her car into the

driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed

the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,

'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'


The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I

pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't

matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'
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Old 01-15-2012, 11:11 AM
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Default Re: In Box Jokes.... :-)

Dang that e-mail has plenty of these jokes in it...

Quote:
Marriage

is a relationship in which one person is always

right, and the other is a husband.




*************************************

A

Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a

driver's license. First, of course, he had to

take an eye sight test The optician showed him a

card with the letters



'C Z W I X

N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the

optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy

replied, 'I know the guy.'
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Old 01-15-2012, 12:01 PM
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Default Re: In Box Jokes.... :-)

My son in law sent this one.

Quote:
I get irritated when people come down on our police officers, saying
that they don't care about or respect others. Well, here is a story that
clearly shows not all cops are in that category.

This story involves the police department in the town of Stonewall , TX who
reported finding a man's body last Saturday in the early evening in the
Pedernales River near the state highway-87 bridge. The dead man's name
would not be released until his family had been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption while
visiting "someone" in Horseshoe Bay . He was wearing black fishnet
stockings, 4 inch spiked heels, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, purple
lipstick, dazzle dust on his eyelids, 1/2 inch false eyelashes and an
Obama T-shirt.

The police removed the Obama T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary
embarrassment
.

See there, Texas police do care.
As you can see the dislike of the present WH and their progressive handlers runs deep in my family.

Same goes for my daughter and older grand-daughter who gets to vote for the first time
...
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Old 01-22-2012, 12:52 PM
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Default Re: In Box Jokes.... :-)

Man my inbox is filling up with these. Most have pictures in them so they take a lot longer and sometimes I just don't have it.

Even if this isn't true it sure is funny.

Quote:
Unsure if this is actually an Ad...but, it is funny!




Craig's list ad--Read it closely folks... a good one.

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason...my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head...isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,
Alex.............

Probably don't have to ask you to forward this one,
it is priceless!
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Last edited by mlurp; 01-22-2012 at 12:58 PM..
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Old 01-23-2012, 03:22 AM
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Default Re: In Box Jokes.... :-)

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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2012, 04:39 PM
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Default Re: In Box Jokes.... :-)

Quote:
Originally Posted by cnredd View Post
Gosh I am in trouble I read that and understood it, kind of scary...

Oh I missed the title which I can't understand..
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