In Box Jokes.... :-) - Page 11

MrLiberty · #**101** (**permalink**) 09-11-2012, 12:44 PM

The answer is simple lurpy.......Politicians, that is what happened to our country.

mlurp · #**102** (**permalink**) 09-11-2012, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrLiberty

The answer is simple lurpy.......Politicians, that is what happened to our country.

Hummm guessing or read it in the thread

plain reality right MrL?

mlurp · #**103** (**permalink**) 09-12-2012, 11:49 AM

I hope the Irish don't get upset. I am part Irish to.

Quote:

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all

been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.

On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on

the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came around,

he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake,

Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and nearly drowned!

Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.

'Grandma,' he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross

the lake like me father, his father, and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said,

"Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all

born in January, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya idiot!"

MrLiberty · #**104** (**permalink**) 09-12-2012, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mlurp

I hope the Irish don't get upset. I am part Irish to.

mlurp · #**105** (**permalink**) 09-24-2012, 12:48 PM

Just got this one. I am not sure it is real, but does it matter?

Quote:

HOW DID I LIVE ALL THESE YEARS WITHOUT KNOWING THIS ABOUT THE KINGDOM OF THAILAND

I'll bet you didn't know this!!!

In the original native culture of Thailand, when males reached the age of 18 they had to participate in the following community ceremony:-

They lay themselves stark naked in a large circle, feet facing inward. A beautiful young naked girl kneels over the ankles of each the men.

She places a blob of honey and various crushed sweet fruits around his navel to attract flies and insects.

(This keeps them off his face during the ceremony)

A specially chosen nubile and very beautiful naked girl then does a sexy and sensuous dance in the center of the circle.

As soon as all the men become fully aroused and develop erections, the kneeling girls then reach over the knees, pull the fully erected penises downwards as far as they can, and then on a given signal from the centre dancer, releases them.

The men's penises would then spring back up and go "WHAP!" against their belly buttons.

This exercise was a measurement of the strength of their masculinity . . . the man who killed the most flies was elected to the court of the King.

And that folks, is why the current capital of Thailand came to be named Bangkok.

MrLiberty · #**106** (**permalink**) 09-24-2012, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mlurp

Just got this one. I am not sure it is real, but does it matter?

SirTallaghtBan · #**107** (**permalink**) 09-24-2012, 05:55 PM

Was Jesus Irish?

He never got married.

He never held a steady job.

He went out drinking with the lads the night before he died.

His last request was a drink

He lived with his parents until he was 33.

He thought his mother was a virgin, and she, bless her, thought he was God.

MrLiberty · #**108** (**permalink**) 09-24-2012, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirTallaghtBan

Was Jesus Irish?

He never got married.

He never held a steady job.

He went out drinking with the lads the night before he died.

His last request was a drink

He lived with his parents until he was 33.

He thought his mother was a virgin, and she, bless her, thought he was God.

Well, Sir, I think you fit right into our little world, Welcome!

mlurp · #**109** (**permalink**) 09-26-2012, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrLiberty

Well, Sir, I think you fit right into our little world, Welcome!

Pretty Flamingo · #**110** (**permalink**) 09-29-2012, 05:40 AM

An Iranian news agency with ties to the government has mistakenly reported a spoof story that rural white Americans would prefer President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to current US President Barack Obama.

The unlikely story was actually written by satirical website The Onion, but reported as fact by Fars news agency.

The story read:

According to the results of a Gallup poll released Monday, the overwhelming majority of rural white Americans said they would rather vote for Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than US President Barack Obama.
"I like him better," said West Virginia resident Dale Swiderski, who, along with 77 percent of rural Caucasian voters, confirmed he would much rather go to a baseball game or have a drink with Ahmadinejad than spend time with Obama.  
"He takes national defense seriously, and he'd never let some gay protesters tell him how to run his country like Obama does."   

According to the same Gallup poll, 60 percent of rural whites said they at least respected that Ahmadinejad doesn't try to hide the fact that he's Muslim.

'American Voters Prefer Ahmadinejad To Obama': Iran's Fars Agency Reports Spoof Story By The Onion

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