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News & Current Events Discuss 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at School at the General Forum; Originally Posted by Oftencold I was a nerdy older brother. I found out once that somebody was picking on my ...

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Old 11-22-2011, 09:35 AM
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Default Re: 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at Sc

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Originally Posted by Oftencold View Post
I was a nerdy older brother. I found out once that somebody was picking on my little sister, so I threatened him a little.

When my sister found out, she told me what a wonderful brother I was, how much she loved me, and that she'd break my arm if I did that again. I sort of felt a mild concern for the continued good health of the bully after that.

Later, she found a bigger boy picking on a littler boy, so she slugged the bully in the face. The Dean called my Mom, said he understood what she'd done and why, but to please ask her not to do it again.
My younger sister once beat up another guy when he was bullying me. He ran away.
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Old 11-22-2011, 09:37 AM
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Default Re: 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at Sc

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When I was little, I had been taught at home and by my church that you always turn the other cheek and you don't do anything violent. What do you do when you're taught those things? Just magically go against them--you should just somehow know that what you're taught is wrong?

I agree that the best answer, for guys anyway, is to fight back--unless it's a group of people and not just an individual.

But in the case where it IS a group of people, and when someone has been taught not to fight--what's the answer?

Tattletale? That could potentially make the situation worse.

"Oh, the parents should do this or that"--well the parents aren't, so that's not an option.

What can be done?
Turn the other cheek? That's almost like praying for the enemy, something that Jesus did.

Tattletale? That's what I said in one of my earlier posts on this thread.
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Old 11-22-2011, 10:06 AM
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Default Re: 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at Sc

When my daughter was young, there was a girl in her group of friends who thought it was fun to hit anyone. One day the girl happened to hit my daughter. My daughter just happened to have a broken foot so she hit the girl with her crutch. Never touched her again.
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Old 11-22-2011, 01:53 PM
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Default Re: 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at Sc

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I think committing suicide due to bullying in the late 1960's/early 1970's was unheard of in those days. Now that we have seen it this decade, more students committing suicide because of bullying could happen.
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All so true. Back in the 1960's/1970's, I wasn't privy to the news reports of bullying. I didn't watch the news or read the newspaper even though my dad worked for the newspaper. The only big news were the RFK and MLK assassinations, the 1968 and 1972 presidential elections. Not to mention the Apollo moon missions, especially with Apollo 11.
I've been thinking a little more about what you've said here.
Personally, I wasn't alive in the 60s and was barely alive during the 70s, so I have no firsthand knowledge; just a suspicion that human nature hasn't changed that much in thirty or forty years.

My first thought is that suicide- even the suicide of a child- was still something deeply shameful in those days. That perhaps explains, in part, why the news media didn't report on it more. People who committed suicide were considered "weaklings" and "failures"; it was a blight on the reputation of their family; many religions preached that suicides were bound for hell.
Our attitude toward suicides has changed considerably since then. Now we mostly consider them tragic victims of circumstance, especially when they are minors.
I mean, the news media didn't harp about breast cancer back in the 60s and 70s either, because it was considered private and somewhat shameful. That doesn't mean it wasn't around, or that it was uncommon.
Times change, societal attitudes change, and what is considered appropriate to report on has changed as well.

My second thought is, anecdotally, that we can look to the popular literature of the time to find out what was going on in society, even if it wasn't being reported in the media.
The number one bestselling novel for months during the early 1970s was Carrie, by the young (at the time) Stephen King. It is a story about a girl who is relentlessly psychologically bullied throughout her school years, until she discovers that she has supernatural powers (telekinesis) and gets revenge by destroying the bullies, the school, and the town itself. Eventually Carrie does "commit suicide", by going home to her religious-fanatic mother, whom she knows is waiting to kill her.

Stephen King- a young man who was still in college at the time- did not just pull that concept out of his ass, I'm sure. I'm sure he either witnessed or experienced such bullying at one time or another; I'm sure everyone did. The book would not have been so popular, if people didn't understand the concept.
Clearly, it happened, even back then. I don't think it was uncommon, either.
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Old 11-22-2011, 02:59 PM
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Default Re: 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at Sc

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I've been thinking a little more about what you've said here.
Personally, I wasn't alive in the 60s and was barely alive during the 70s, so I have no firsthand knowledge; just a suspicion that human nature hasn't changed that much in thirty or forty years.

My first thought is that suicide- even the suicide of a child- was still something deeply shameful in those days. That perhaps explains, in part, why the news media didn't report on it more. People who committed suicide were considered "weaklings" and "failures"; it was a blight on the reputation of their family; many religions preached that suicides were bound for hell.
Our attitude toward suicides has changed considerably since then. Now we mostly consider them tragic victims of circumstance, especially when they are minors.
I mean, the news media didn't harp about breast cancer back in the 60s and 70s either, because it was considered private and somewhat shameful. That doesn't mean it wasn't around, or that it was uncommon.
Times change, societal attitudes change, and what is considered appropriate to report on has changed as well.

My second thought is, anecdotally, that we can look to the popular literature of the time to find out what was going on in society, even if it wasn't being reported in the media.
The number one bestselling novel for months during the early 1970s was Carrie, by the young (at the time) Stephen King. It is a story about a girl who is relentlessly psychologically bullied throughout her school years, until she discovers that she has supernatural powers (telekinesis) and gets revenge by destroying the bullies, the school, and the town itself. Eventually Carrie does "commit suicide", by going home to her religious-fanatic mother, whom she knows is waiting to kill her.

Stephen King- a young man who was still in college at the time- did not just pull that concept out of his ass, I'm sure. I'm sure he either witnessed or experienced such bullying at one time or another; I'm sure everyone did. The book would not have been so popular, if people didn't understand the concept.
Clearly, it happened, even back then. I don't think it was uncommon, either.
I've never watched that movie, though I've heard a lot about it.

My dad would have known more about what was happening in this world when he worked the (San Diego) Evening Tribune. He was a world news editor. On this very day, 48 years ago, he worked all night covering the JFK assassination. I don't know what time he got home. I was only 9 years old at that time.

All the news we had then were the local news and the three major news networks on TV: ABC, NBC, and CBS.

Now we have all kinds of news networks thanks to cable, digital cable, and satellite tv. And the internet, too. So we are privy to those.

As I mentioned earlier, when I was in elementary schools, we never had any suicides by the pupils. So a trend was never set. Now we see it happening. If a student is going to bully another, it had better be dealt with right away, or there will be more trouble.

When I was in 9th grade, did we have a student die at the hands of another due to playing with guns. Only the following year did a student suicided due to drugs, I guess.

One girl in another state wanted to be home-schooled before she hung herself inside the closet of her home. When she asked her mom to please help stop her from being bullied, her mom didn't know what to do. That should have been a very simple thing to do: go to the school and talk with the principal about it. It may or may not invite further trouble.

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Old 11-22-2011, 03:04 PM
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Default Re: 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at Sc

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One girl in another state wanted to be home-schooled before she hung herself inside the closet of her home. When she asked her mom to please help stop her from being bullied, her mom didn't know what to do.
Very sad, especially for the mother.
Like I said in my first post on this thread, I wish these kids would try anything, however extreme, before resorting to suicide.
They need to make the adults around them realize they are serious, that their lives are in jeopardy, that they are about to be dead if someone doesn't intervene.
Burn the school down (preferably when nobody's in it). Whatever it takes.
Death is the only condition that is forever.
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Old 11-22-2011, 03:16 PM
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Default Re: 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at Sc

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Very sad, especially for the mother.
Like I said in my first post on this thread, I wish these kids would try anything, however extreme, before resorting to suicide.
They need to make the adults around them realize they are serious, that their lives are in jeopardy, that they are about to be dead if someone doesn't intervene.
Burn the school down (preferably when nobody's in it). Whatever it takes.
Death is the only condition that is forever.
If the bullying happen in the city, send the bullies to magnet schools. Out in the country: best thing is home-schooled.

I don't know if the school is powerless to stop students from being bullying. All it takes is a word of mouth.
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Old 11-22-2011, 03:22 PM
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Default Re: 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at Sc

Bullying doesn't really become an issue to most people, unless they are bullied themselves. In that way, they fully understand the problem.

I grew up in the 6o's in a rather well-to-do area on the east coast. Bullying was so far down on the ladder that it wasn't even a blip on the radar of most.

From what I saw, the school officials did nothing, some even joined in. The cops never got involved, despite what is known today as "assaults". Most parents rarely got involved and if they did, violence against the parents of the bully was threatened.

Most situations back then were settled as a "boys will be boys" kind of thing. Next thing you knew, fists were flying like was seen in the "Christmas Story".
Nowadays, guns may be involved, instead.

Where parents and local "officials" are not intervening, that's probably where the hanging/suicides start happening. I'm glad that this issue is being taken more seriously, but unfortunately it hasn't come full circle yet. Trouble is, I think, that the same kids who were bullies in school are the same bullies in the workplace. That'd be my guess.
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Old 11-22-2011, 03:28 PM
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Default Re: 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at Sc

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If the bullying happen in the city, send the bullies to magnet schools. Out in the country: best thing is home-schooled.

I don't know if the school is powerless to stop students from being bullying. All it takes is a word of mouth.
The school perhaps has the power to stop bullying to some extent, as long as it's occurring on school property.
A lot of bullying takes place under the radar, of course. By high school (even middle school) the student-teacher ratios are thirty to one or more, so obviously adults are not going to witness or hear every exchange that goes on between students.
A student might report bullying to the principal, but if the bully denies it convincingly and there are no other witnesses or evidence, the principal cannot really punish the bully based on this hearsay.
Then there's all the bullying that takes place off school grounds- after school, on the walk home, or online in the evenings.
It is not clear whether or not schools have the authority to discipline students (even with evidence) for behavior that occurs outside of school hours and off school grounds. It's a gray area.

I think, decades ago, things actually might've been a little better, because dropping out of high school to marry, get a job, or join the military actually was considered a valid choice (especially for working-class youths who were not college-bound), and so kids that didn't want to be in school could just leave, and most did by eleventh or twelfth grade.
Now it's considered unthinkable for any teen to drop out, and schools are full of kids who are just killing time and don't want to be there. Because they are bored and discontented, they make life miserable for other kids.
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Old 11-22-2011, 03:36 PM
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Default Re: 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at Sc

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Originally Posted by Ray Kaye View Post
Bullying doesn't really become an issue to most people, unless they are bullied themselves. In that way, they fully understand the problem.

I grew up in the 6o's in a rather well-to-do area on the east coast. Bullying was so far down on the ladder that it wasn't even a blip on the radar of most.

From what I saw, the school officials did nothing, some even joined in. The cops never got involved, despite what is known today as "assaults". Most parents rarely got involved and if they did, violence against the parents of the bully was threatened.

Most situations back then were settled as a "boys will be boys" kind of thing. Next thing you knew, fists were flying like was seen in the "Christmas Story".
Nowadays, guns may be involved, instead.

Where parents and local "officials" are not intervening, that's probably where the hanging/suicides start happening. I'm glad that this issue is being taken more seriously, but unfortunately it hasn't come full circle yet. Trouble is, I think, that the same kids who were bullies in school are the same bullies in the workplace. That'd be my guess.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1069 View Post
The school perhaps has the power to stop bullying to some extent, as long as it's occurring on school property.
A lot of bullying takes place under the radar, of course. By high school (even middle school) the student-teacher ratios are thirty to one or more, so obviously adults are not going to witness or hear every exchange that goes on between students.
A student might report bullying to the principal, but if the bully denies it convincingly and there are no other witnesses or evidence, the principal cannot really punish the bully based on this hearsay.
Then there's all the bullying that takes place off school grounds- after school, on the walk home, or online in the evenings.
It is not clear whether or not schools have the authority to discipline students (even with evidence) for behavior that occurs outside of school hours and off school grounds. It's a gray area.

I think, decades ago, things actually might've been a little better, because dropping out of high school to marry, get a job, or join the military actually was considered a valid choice (especially for working-class youths who were not college-bound), and so kids that didn't want to be in school could just leave, and most did by eleventh or twelfth grade.
Now it's considered unthinkable for any teen to drop out, and schools are full of kids who are just killing time and don't want to be there. Because they are bored and discontented, they make life miserable for other kids.
Next thing you know there are going to be TV cameras installed every 5 feet in the hallways. And maybe undercover cops in gym shorts on the P.E. fields.
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