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News & Current Events Discuss 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at School at the General Forum; Originally Posted by GottaGo To be a physical aggressor is not the answer. As a defense, it is quite often ... |
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![]() Bullying always has been and always will be a part of life. While I think it would be great if bad people didn't exist, they do. We need to teach children how to handle such adversity, skills that this poor girl obviously did not have. The bully is not to blame for her decision to kill herself. Her lack of coping skills are to blame.
Bullying has ALWAYS been going on, much much worse in the past than it is today. So what's different about "these days" that more bullied kids are killing themselves? The answer isn't that the bullies are worse, because they're not. So the answer must lie in what the bullied kids are NOT learning, and that's how to cope. That's how we fix the problem. That's what we need to focus on. What's changed in how we're teaching our kids? How are we failing them by not giving them the skills they need to handle adversity? How do we fix that? Because getting the bullied kids to stop isn't going to fix the problem with the kids that obviously lack any coping skills. They'll just go on down the road and kill themselves after a confrontation with someone at work or something. Teach kids how to stand up for themselves and not give a flying **** if someone says their shoes are ugly.
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![]() Some judge it as such on this board. *shrug*
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![]() Bull GG.
![]() Sometimes, fighting back might be needed as a last resort when physically bullied. I believe however, it should be just that...the last resort. What I'm hearing however, are those who think verbal bullying should usually be met with physical violence (show me where anyone here, has differentiated between verbal/physical bullying). Is it just a coincidence that a lot of those who seem to advocate force first, are also those who think the first response in the world... is to send in the troops? I think not. . |
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I don't encourage physical offense, but physical defense. When someone one relentlessly barages you with verbal abuse, most kids will respond with a physicall defense, because their minds haven't reached the maturity level beyond the 'sticks and stones' or 'you suck!' reactions. Is it good? Nope. But in this case, it is what it is, and I hope that it can be avoid as much as possible. There are those, apparently you included, who don't see it the same way I do, that there is a HUGE difference between physical aggression and physical defense.
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Your life is the sum total of the choices you make. If you don't laugh at yourself, a whole bunch of people will volunteer to do it for you I never lose. I either win, or I learn.... |
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![]() I was taught never to hit first but always to hit last. Can't say that I always lived up to that as a child. There were a few occasions when a mouthy kid got smacked.
But teaching a child that it is ok to hit someone who is verbally abusive is just wrong. Teaching them to come back with as good as they get is better. And, yes, they also need to be taught that it is right to fight back when someone is physically aggressive. I saw a video yesterday of a 14-year-old boy taking a beating from another kid about his own size. The victim was just holding his arms around his head and begging the other kid to stop. He should have been fighting back. Part of the problem, though, is the zero tolerance bullsh!t that schools have instituted. It doesn't matter who throws the first blow, the victim gets suspended or expelled just like the aggressor. My nephew ran up against this rule in junior high. He is a really little guy and, frankly, a nerd. A much bigger kid was picking on him and doing sneaky punches or tripping him or some such when the teachers were distracted or left the room. He came home repeatedly with bruises on his ribs or a scratched or bloody face from falling. But the school had a zero tolerance rule and, if he fought back, he would have been suspended. He was also loath to report the abuse because he knew that would get him labeled as a snitch. His mother finally told him that the next time it happened, he should just beat the crap out of the bully and they would deal with the consequences. A few days later the kid sneaked up behind him in gym class and jabbed him in the ribs. My nephew brought an elbow back into the kid's face then swung around and kicked him in the crotch. Then he looks up to see the coach looking straight at him. He thought he was about to catch it but the coach just winked at him and walked away. Evidently he did not buy into the whole zero tolerance BS. And the bully backed off. He did not go whining to the teachers about it either. I suspect he was a bit ashamed of getting taken down by the smallest kid in the class.
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Count me in that group that thinks you are dead wrong. Physical defense is only to be used against physical offense. Any child over the age of ten should be able to understand that and implement it.
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"Maturity level?" Hell, we see supposedly grown adults, advocating that same behavior around here. ![]() Quote:
I personally think it is only those who have a Neanderthal mentality, that feel a need to attack physically...when bullied verbally. I also think that a lot of those types of people (not saying you're one) who think violence is the answer...are nothing but bullies themselves. ![]() . |
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10yearold, after, allegedly, being, bullied, carolina, case, death, detectives, girl, hangs, herself, homicide, investigation, natalie, north, reopen, school, wood |
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