Good job Deval. You have shown what it's like to be the Dad your child needed. Kudos to you on this Father's Day.

Governor's daughter, 18, says she is a lesbian - Local News Updates - The Boston Globe

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Was there some point to be made?

I think it was just made...

To add to dabateman's point, there are too many parents out there that are so abjectly prejudiced against gays that they will kick a gay child out of the house when they find out.
The governor showed what it's like to be a REAL father in such a situation, as opposed to somebody whose "love" for their child is so shallow that a trivial difference like "homosexual" will change it from "love" to hate.

Maybe you take that for granted Stinger, and that's why you don't get the point...

That I take for granted he still loves his daugther.......yes. As most parents would.

The point is that a lot of gay offspring do NOT take that for granted, as they know the very real possibility of an entirely different outcome.
In fact, I can't help but wonder how few gay people out there don't know of some gay person (possibly even themselves) who have been disowned by parents because of prejudice...

If you "take it for granted", it's because you don't know what really goes on for a lot of gays and their parents...

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to stick up for Stinger on this one.

As a father, I can't imagine the sexual orientation of my child changing the amount of unconditional love I have for her. Either you're a person who is capable of imagining that or you're not.

So for me personally, and Stinger too I imagine, there's little remarkable about a parent still loving their child once they come out of the closet.

I would also say that most gay people who think there's a possibility of being disowned by their parents once they came out of the closet know in their heart of hearts that they don't have much to lose. They obviously don't have a great relationship with their parents to begin with. I can't possibly imagine being a full time parent and not having any inkling as to the sexual orientation of your child.

In fact, if my daughter at 18 (two years from now) suddenly decided she were a lesbian, I'd certainly love her just the same and would actually be upset with myself for not having had a close enough relationship to have known how she viewed the world.

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If you take for granted otherwise then you apparently don't know as many as I do or what really goes on.

How many children have you raised?

Then it's clear how little you know about the issue.

There are statistics that show almost 25% of all homeless people in NYC are gay teenagers who have been thrown out of their homes when their parents discovered the kids' sexual orientation. It also should be noted, many of these kids were "outed" in one way or another - not necessarily by coming out of the closet on their own.

Fifty years ago, it was common for girls to get thrown out of their homes and disowned when it became known they were pregnant and not married. Today it doesn't have the same stigma as it once did. Now some parents just thrown their kids out if they're gay.

edited to add: Randall Terry and Alan Keyes are two famous people who have thrown out their gay children - I can't come up with any more off the top of my head.

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"No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities."
...Christian Nestell Bovee

Inward chuckle on how you phrased that...


I'm not sure if you fully understand my point.
I whole-heartedly understand great people like you exist. I think you are the majority.

But the point is that every parent is NOT like you.
There are a LOT of parents who react in ways that you would probably find reprehensible. By kicking the kid out of the home or cutting emotional ties with the offspring.
And they are obviously NOT you.

But at the same time, gays KNOW or know OF parents who ARE like that.
So while we are happy to meet people like you, we also know that there are a lot of parents out there who are not like you...

Whenever somebody else tells me a "coming out to the parents" story, I typically don't know what to expect unless I already know the answer.


I've talked to gays who fall in that boat.
I've talked to gays who are in a pseudo stale-mate by not being "out", but suspecting their parent "knows".

Typically, it's an issue of not wanting to lose what you have.
Some people can drive around in great cars that never let you down.
Other people drive around in cars that will let you down and aren't that good.
But if you take that crappy car away from the person, they don't have anything.
And for some people, something is seen as better than nothing.

In the recent "Sex and the City" movie (roll your eyes if you want), one of the married couples had the husband have an affair.
A different wife (married to somebody else) went home and thanked her husband for being who he was, cause she knew he wouldn't do that to her.
That's kind of how I see the issue. Realizing there are some "bad" ones out there, and being thankful when you have a "good" one.

1) Your sentence makes no grammatical sense, especially considering what you're actually replying to.
2) I DO NOT "take for granted"...
3) You obviously don't have the bigger picture here.
It isn't a "children you raised" issue.

Gays make up about one in twenty, so odds are that for any given parent, they probably don't have a gay child.
So looking generically at PARENTS or NON-GAY children makes no sense, cause it's not even looking in the right place for the problem.

It's about KNOWING GAY people and their ACTUAL experiences with their parents.
If you KNEW several gay people, you would probably know a couple gay people whose parents DO (or would) give their kids problems.

I don't understand how you can pretend to contradict me, cause this isn't about GENERIC parenting, but this is a REAL phenomenon amongst gays.

TristanRobin pointed out something I talked about earlier. To give a resource substantiating it...

Numerous research studies conducted over the past decade find that gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) youth make up 25-40% of the homeless youth population in NYC and other large cities. One study found half of 432 homeless youth surveyed identified as gay, lesbian, or bisexual (Clatts, et al., 1996).

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth

Does the significance of that sink in at all to you?

This is very real.
And this is JUST counting the homeless. NOT counting the parents who have completely or partially ostracized their child without the "homeless" part. NOT counting the parents who would have made their child "homeless" if he had actually been at home when he came out. The "bad" parents run the gambit from "Pack your bags and never come back" to ignoring the problem but interjecting snide remarks during family events or refusing to allow your child's partner to be a part of the family.

I think the problem with your response to me is that you DO NOT KNOW about the problems that many gays face with their parents.
And just cause you may not do the same thing with your kid doesn't mean the problem doesn't exist...