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Civil Rights Discuss Boy wants to return to school as a girl at the Political Forums; Originally Posted by Lisaclaudette Allowing a child to socially transition at a young age, especially where they have made it ...

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Old 02-13-2008, 07:51 PM
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Default Re: Boy wants to return to school as a girl

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Originally Posted by Lisaclaudette View Post
Allowing a child to socially transition at a young age, especially where they have made it clear to their parents that it is their wish to transition, has shown very good results. But it is most important for the child to know that however they experience their gender, male, female or not so specific, they are loved and supported in their experience. It is important for all of us to know that our children are safe in our school yards and not subject to violence and brutality at the hands of adults or other children, no matter what their gender experience or expression.

How early can a child know their gender identity? You only have to ask yourself how early you knew your own gender identity. Some folks say they never really felt sure, others say they have always been quite sure. Gender identity and the experience of it is as a much a part of the human experience and as subject to variation as hair color, eye color, skin tone, cranial facial asymmetry and other traits found in the species.
No. There are too many variables between early development, puberty, and adolescence to allow any kind of manipulation. I think coddling this kid and giving in to what can only be described as a sense of fantasy at this point. I don't think a prepubescent child has any concept of his gender role.
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Old 02-13-2008, 08:04 PM
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Default Re: Boy wants to return to school as a girl

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No. There are too many variables between early development, puberty, and adolescence to allow any kind of manipulation. I think coddling this kid and giving in to what can only be described as a sense of fantasy at this point. I don't think a prepubescent child has any concept of his gender role.

Can you back that up with any expert opinions that indicate that a child's gender identity is that malleable?
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Old 02-13-2008, 08:07 PM
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Default Re: Boy wants to return to school as a girl

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Originally Posted by Lisaclaudette View Post
Allowing a child to socially transition at a young age, especially where they have made it clear to their parents that it is their wish to transition, has shown very good results. But it is most important for the child to know that however they experience their gender, male, female or not so specific, they are loved and supported in their experience. It is important for all of us to know that our children are safe in our school yards and not subject to violence and brutality at the hands of adults or other children, no matter what their gender experience or expression.

How early can a child know their gender identity? You only have to ask yourself how early you knew your own gender identity. Some folks say they never really felt sure, others say they have always been quite sure. Gender identity and the experience of it is as a much a part of the human experience and as subject to variation as hair color, eye color, skin tone, cranial facial asymmetry and other traits found in the species.
First, welcome to the forums Lisa. And if this post is any indication of your participation, I for one am looking forward to getting to know you better and read your thoughts on today's current issues.

Again, welcome to the family and happy posting!
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Old 02-14-2008, 08:11 AM
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Default Re: Boy wants to return to school as a girl

My husband and I met a lady a few years back who used to be a man and was in the planning stages of becoming a biological woman.
We got to know her pretty well and found out she had not only served (as a man) in the United States Navy, but had been married to a woman and had had children.
What happened to her was that she was born with an inverted or non protruding penis and her folks dressed her as a girl and sent her to school that way. In fact their family doctor had told them it would be for the best for the child to be raised as a girl.
Then during an accident while playing, her penis popped out. Her dad was overjoyed at having a boy and from thence insisted the mother dress her that way.
So she was confused and tried very hard to act like a man. She is an excellent mechanic and has a lot of abilities I would associate with a male.
But after that initial "forming" of her idea of herself, she always felt like a woman, not a man. Eventually she quit lying to herself and decided to live her life on her terms.
She had a long term partner who backed her decision to have the operation. The lady herself seemed happy and very sane.
So the parents' decision here definitely affected how the rest of her life played out, but what's done is done. I don't think you can go back and re-imprint something like gender on a person's psyche.
But, I do think the parents of this child should make it easier on everyone and
put her in another school.
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Old 02-14-2008, 12:54 PM
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Default Re: Boy wants to return to school as a girl

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Can you back that up with any expert opinions that indicate that a child's gender identity is that malleable?
I never said it was "malleable". Let's try and debate what I actually said instead of what you need me to say out of convenience for your own argument. What I stated is that gender roles are not clearly defined for children and that there were too many variables at stake between puberty, adolescence, etc.

If you need me to further elaborate, I will. But that's what I said...never implied malleable. If gender identity was "malleable", then there would be less issue with what these idiots are doing to this child.
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Old 02-14-2008, 12:59 PM
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Default Re: Boy wants to return to school as a girl

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I never said it was "malleable". Let's try and debate what I actually said instead of what you need me to say out of convenience for your own argument. What I stated is that gender roles are not clearly defined for children and that there were too many variables at stake between puberty, adolescence, etc.

If you need me to further elaborate, I will. But that's what I said...never implied malleable. If gender identity was "malleable", then there would be less issue with what these idiots are doing to this child.

Sorry. That was what I understood from what you said, your false interpretation of my motives notwithstanding.

Please do elaborate because, frankly, what you are saying does not make any sense to me.
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Old 02-14-2008, 01:03 PM
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Default Re: Boy wants to return to school as a girl

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I don't think a prepubescent child has any concept of his gender role.
I would especially like to see your explanation of just what this sentence from your original quote means.

And I would like for you to back it up with expert opinion if you can.
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Old 02-14-2008, 10:54 PM
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Default Re: Boy wants to return to school as a girl

For most of us the experience of gender is sub-conscious and we accept it without thought. If that were not true for you it can create an impossible set of circumstances, your gender incongruent with how you were identified at birth.

Can a child know all the ramifications associated with gender? I would say a lot of adults have no concept of it. However, if your child came to you and suggested that they were somehow incongruent, body and identity, and they were in great distress, suffering because of it, would you as a parent demand that they put these fanciful ideas out of their minds and stop being so foolish? How much distress would you want, would you allow your child to suffer before you took steps toward relieving your child’s situation. How quickly would you act to keep your child safe?

Would you act to form a safe place for your child, let them find out who they really are, or would it be easier for you to act in support of stereotype no matter how harmful to your child? I’m not sure there is another choice there.

Gender roles not well defined for children? I would respectfully disagree. I see the subject as related but different. This would seem more about safety and identity. Not so much about role but I am comfortable with a discussion of role as well. It is just a little different than respecting a child's experience of their identity.
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:36 AM
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Default Re: Boy wants to return to school as a girl

Ok, having read a few of the arguments I just want to throw out there that gender ROLES are completely malleable. Boys are taught to act like men, girls are taught to act like women. Children learn to be what they are from their parents.

My personal opinion on this matter is that if the boy wants to return to the school he is in he does not get the surgery. The trauma of being chastised by his fellow students will far outweigh being the feminine boy until he moves out on his own.

I suppose that since this is something I have never had to deal with I will never truly understand it, but that is my two cents.
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Old 02-15-2008, 03:11 AM
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Default Re: Boy wants to return to school as a girl

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Ok, having read a few of the arguments I just want to throw out there that gender ROLES are completely malleable. Boys are taught to act like men, girls are taught to act like women. Children learn to be what they are from their parents.

My personal opinion on this matter is that if the boy wants to return to the school he is in he does not get the surgery. The trauma of being chastised by his fellow students will far outweigh being the feminine boy until he moves out on his own.

I suppose that since this is something I have never had to deal with I will never truly understand it, but that is my two cents.
And your two cents is ALWAYS encouraged chuck!...

Even if you hold the minority opionion (and I've done that on many occasion), stick to your guns and go against the flow if that's what you truly believe...
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