Everybody knows me already, I'm awesome. Just ask me. I have three awesome wives so far. They think I'm awesome too.

I also have three awesome kids, one of them not mine - thanks to wife number two (also known as the breeder).

I have a husband-in-law (another former marine), we raise the kids and supply most of the money. We also go on dates to the gun shows and the shooting range.

Wife #3 also brings in cashflow with two jobs. She is also known as future ex-wife #3. She think s this is hilareous, which is why she's currently wife #3. She teaches college classes and manages a hotel - which is also what she teaches, which is awesome.

I drive a nissan titan 4x4, a yamaha vstar 1100, love guns, and pretend to be a carpenter on movie sets doing construction.

I have a dog who is smarter than me and spells better than most of you. His name is Roscoe and he is a jack russell terrorist with 1/4th rat terrier thrown in for fun.

This is Roscoe, telling me how awesome I am.

My 18 yar old daughter is awesome too, I think she got it from me. She is a three year cancer survivor (hodgkins lymphoma), she graduated with honors and a four year academic scholarship to Alabama, and she did this while going through chemo and radiation treatment. Pretty damn awesome says I.

The University of Alabama is awesome, which is why they invited me there. While there, I earned several degrees.

B.A. in English, B.F.A. in Art, and a Masters in Graphic Design - plus I learned how to shoot people in the ROTC

Those three degrees and a $1 will get you a cheap cup of coffee. How awesome is that? So I traveled to far foreign lands, met some interesting people from a different culture, and shot back at them.

After vaction happy funtime was over, I came back to the U.S. and had to get a real job. So I build fake stuff. Totally awesome fake stuff.